My Experience in the Brussels Airport 0n March 22, 2016

I wrote this for my nephew but some people thought it would be good to BLOG it. Forgive the mispellings. I wrote this quickly and it may be sloppy but here it is.

 

Over the past 5 years, whenever I travel, I always have to ask for airport assistance with a wheelchair. My old legs and hips just can't handle the long walks from one terminal to another. I dang near collapsed in one of those walkways in the Dallas airport when I was heading to Boston from NM .In the middle of a long hallway I my body forced me to stop walking and there was not a chair or bench anywhere to be seen. I leaned against the wall and slid right down to the floor in a sitting position. It was almost like passing out. I was very embarrassed but it was not something I could control.  One nice woman was passing by and asked if she could help me. She helped me up and gave me her arm to steady me and helped me walk to the departure lounge.

So that is the reason for the wheelchair explanation.

I left The Gambia on Sunday evening , March 21. The flight was a non- stop to Brussels and landed there around 0500 on the 22nd of March. I had to wait for the wheelchair volunteer and he finally arrived and pushed me down endless halls to a security check area that was closed. I was the only person in the entire hallway and the wheelchair pusher (WCP for short, OK?) told me to wait until the security staff opened the place. It seemed like hours but the gate was finally pushed aside and I went through the checks

In my WC. At that point another WCP brought me to an elevator and told me he was bringing me to the upstairs departure area used by United. The WCP and I felt two 'bumpy shakes' as the elevator ascended and we both commented on it but figured it was just a glitch in the machinery. As the elevator door opened and the WCP wheeled me out we saw a great mass of people running down the hallway and they looked mighty scared. I told the WCP to get me out of the hallway and push me behind a pillar of one departure station so I wouldn't get knocked over and possibly trampled. There were people who had already been sitting in the departure area but they had no idea what was happening. The WCP was on his cell phone and after whispered to me that there had been a bomb explosion and asked me to excuse him for a bit so he could get instructions on what to do from his Supervisor. As soon as he walked away I pulled out my iPad and using cc and bc, sent a quick e-mail to everyone I knew telling them there had been a bomb blast in the airport but that I was safe and not to worry and I hit SEND. I found out later that most all communication networks had been shut down (to prevent the terrorists from contacting each other)! At that moment several staff members began shouting for everyone in the the area to evacuate the building. Since my WCP had not returned yet I just sat back and waited. The WC I was in had no wheels to self propel myself but the WCP finally got back to me and I looked around and realized that the entire floor was empty save for me and a few staff. I was the last one out of the departure area and my shoulder bag sitting in my lap that held my iPad, kindle, cellphone, my personal medications and my address book which contained all my passwords was confiscated by a security person. I told him I needed the bag but he told me I had to evacuate the area without it. Since it was not the time to argue I asked the WC pusher to take me out. And down the elevator we went. When we got outside there were so many people just milling about waiting for someone to tell us what was happening and what we should do. It was very cold and the wind was blowing. Those of us from Africa did not dress for cold weather but some folks began handing out blankets and I was very happy to receive one of them. I guess we stayed outside of the airport buildings for 3-4 hours. and then, because I was using my cane (there were a lot of folks there that needed the WC more than I did) I was put in a bus with other handicapped folks and taken to a hotel used as an emergency center of sorts. We were given a meal and then waited for a couple hours and then put in another bus and taken to another hotel emergency center. Every time we boarded a bus the Belgium motorcycle police surrounded all of the buses and escorted us. It was at the 2nd hotel that the Belgium Red Cross took over fully and gathered info from all of us which they used to coordinate with the various airlines so we might get to our destinations. The Belgium Red Cross were really wonderful to each individual and showed real empathy and concern. There were a couple hundred people in my group but there were hundreds more at other emergency centers around the city. We stayed at the 2nd hotel for a long time and then told us we would be taken to a 3rd hotel where we would rest for the night. ( the name of the hotel was 'SEASONS'). Beneath the hotel was a huge stadium and it was there that we all were assigned cots. There were two cavernous rooms in this stadium. Probably 3-4 football fields long and wide an both of these rooms were filled with those cots . In the morning I felt fine and later that same morning it was announced that United airlines wanted all their passengers to come to a certain staging area. There we were separated into groups by destinations and buses were arranged to take us to Frankfurt, Germany (4 hours away) so we could catch flights to our destinations. When I finally arrived in Albuquerque there was no one to meet me and I had to beg a ride in a shuttle to Santa Fe.  (this is another long story and I am even boring myself)  Please , I beg you, do not share any of the chest pain story with anyone else! I have put it in bold italics so you can delete it after you read it. It was just info for you.   I did get to the Dr. In New Mexico and have been put on some cardiac and bp drugs that have helped a lot. I now feel like I am 60 again.

Wednesday of week 10 in Ordinary Time

A sermon by Origen

The crossing of the Jordan

The ark of the covenant led the people of God across the Jordan. The priests and the Levites halted, and the waters, as though out of reverence to the ministers of God, stopped flowing. They piled up in a single mass, thus allowing the people of God to cross in safety. As a Christian, you should not be amazed to hear of these wonders performed for men of the past. The divine Word promises much greater and more lofty things to you who have passed through Jordan’s stream by the sacrament of baptism: he promises you a passage even through the sky. Listen to what Paul says concerning the just: We shall be caught up in the clouds to meet Christ in heaven, and so we shall always be with the Lord. There is absolutely nothing for the just man to fear; the whole of creation serves him. Listen to another promise that God makes him through the prophet: If you pass through fire, the flame shall not burn you, for I am the Lord your God. The just man is everywhere welcome, and everything renders him due service.

  So you must not think that these events belong only to the past, and that you who now hear the account of them do not experience anything of the kind. It is in you that they all find their spiritual fulfilment. You have recently abandoned the darkness of idolatry, and you now desire to come and hear the divine law. This is your departure from Egypt. When you became a catechumen and began to obey the laws of the Church, you passed through the Red Sea; now at the various stops in the desert, you give time every day to hear the law of God and to see the face of Moses unveiled by the glory of God. But once you come to the baptismal font and, in the presence of the priests and deacons, are initiated into those sacred and august mysteries which only those know who should, then, through the ministry of the priests, you will cross the Jordan and enter the promised land. There Moses will hand you over to Jesus, and He himself will be your guide on your new journey.

  Mindful, then, of all the mighty works of God, remembering that he divided the sea for you and held back the waters of the river, you will turn to them and say: Why was it, sea, that you fled? Jordan, why did you turn back? Mountains, why did you skip like rams, and you hills, like young sheep? And the word of the Lord will reply: The earth is shaken at the face of the Lord, at the face of the God of Jacob, who turns stones into a pool and rock into springs of water.

Interruption of blog Tuesday, June 7, 2016

During the next two weeks our usual blog from the Hermitage will be interrupted as the battery for our solar panel is very old and finally has reached the point where it can no longer serve us. Normally we would just switch over to the generator but we are out of funds and unable to purchase fuel or a new battery.
While I was in New Mexico, so many people donated funds to purchase medicines and medical supplies for our sick poor brothers and sisters and I want to thank all of you who were able to help. The donations allowed me to purchase medicine and supplies that are not available here in The Gambia. What funds remained after the U.S. purchases were quickly used to buy our usual medications and supplies  locally as soon as I returned home to The Gambia. May God bless you for your merciful and generous help. I thank everyone of  you who have been able to help us financially and for those who were praying for us. Certainly your good prayers were answered.
But, now we must wait until June 22nd for my SS check to arrive in order to purchase the new solar battery and also fuel for the generator.
Sorry for this interruption.

In His most merciful love,

brother dismas Mary

Tuesday of week 10 in Ordinary Time

St Ignatius of Antioch's letter to the Romans

My bodily desires have been crucified

All the kingdoms of this world are worth nothing to me. It is better for me to die in Christ Jesus than to be king over the ends of the earth. I seek him who died for our sake, I desire him who rose for us.

  The pains of birth are upon me. Be understanding, my brethren: do not hinder me from coming to life, do not wish me to die. I desire to belong to God: do not give me to the world, do not try to deceive me with material things. Allow me to receive the pure light: when I have reached it I shall become a man. Allow me to follow the example of the Passion of my God. If there is any man who has God within himself, let him understand what I wish, and let him sympathize with me, knowing the things which constrain me.

  The Prince of this world wishes to tear me in pieces and twist my mind away from God. Let none of you who are present help him, but be on my side: that is, on God’s. Do not speak of Jesus Christ but still desire the world. Let no envy dwell among you.

  Perhaps when I arrive I will ask you to save my life. Ignore what I say then, but give me what I am writing to ask you now. In the midst of life I write to you desiring death. My bodily desires have been crucified, and there is in me no fire of love for material things. Within me there is no fire, but only water living and speaking in me, and saying to me from within, “Come to the Father.” I have no pleasure in the food of corruption or in the delights of this life. I desire the bread of God, which is the flesh of Jesus Christ, who was of the seed of David, and for drink I desire his blood, which is incorruptible love.

  I want no more of what men call life. And I can receive what I want, if that is your desire. Desire it, so that you also may be desired. I beg you by this short letter; believe me. And Jesus Christ shall make this plain to you, that I am speaking the truth. He is the mouth which cannot lie, by which the Father has spoken truly. Pray for me that I may attain my goal. I am writing to you not according to the flesh, but according to the mind of God. If I am given suffering, it will be proof of your goodwill; if it is denied to me, that will be a proof of your disfavor.

  Remember in your prayers the Church in Syria. God has now taken my place as its shepherd. Its bishop shall be Jesus Christ — Jesus Christ and your love. For myself I am ashamed to be called a member of that church, for I am not worthy. I am the least of them, a fetus born before its time. Yet, if I succeed in reaching God, then I shall have received true mercy, and I shall have become a human being.

  My spirit greets you, and the love of the Churches which have received me in the name of Jesus Christ, not as a mere passer by. Even those which did not lie on my path (as the world measures it) have escorted me from one city to the next.

Saint Norbert, Bishop Monday 6 June 2016

From the life of Saint Norbert, bishop

At ease in the company of the humble and great

Saint Norbert

(The words in quotation marks have been taken from the biography of Saint Norbert, written by a Premonstratensian canon who was a contemporary of the saint. Pope Innocent’s Apostolic Letter was issued under leaden seal to Saint Norbert on June 5, 1133).

  Norbert is deservedly numbered by historians among those who made an effective contribution to the reform movement under Pope Gregory VII. He established a clergy dedicated to the ideals of the Gospel and the apostolic Church. They were chaste and poor. They wore “the clothing and the symbols of the new man; that is to say, they wore the religious habit and exhibited the dignity proper to the priesthood.” Norbert asked them “to live according to the norms of the Scriptures with Christ as their model.” They were “to be clean in all matters pertaining to the altar and divine worship, to correct their faults and failings in their chapter meeting, and to care for and give shelter to the poor.”

  The priests lived in community, where they continued the work of the apostles. Inspired by the practice of the early Church, Norbert exhorted the faithful to join the monastic life in some capacity. So many men and women responded to the invitation that many asserted that no man since the apostles themselves had inspired so many to embrace the monastic life.

  When Norbert was appointed an archbishop, he urged his brothers to carry the faith to the lands of the Wends. In his own diocese he tried unsuccessfully to convince the clergy of the need for reform and was confronted with noisy protests both in the street and in the church.

  One of the principal goals of Norbert’s life was to foster harmony between the Apostolic See and the German empire. At the same time he wanted to maintain Rome’s freedom in the matter of ecclesiastical appointments. Apparently his efforts were so successful that Pope Innocent II thanked him profusely in a letter in which he called him a “devoted son,” and Lothair made him chancellor of the realm.

  Norbert did all these things with a steadfast faith: “Faith was the outstanding virtue of Norbert’s life, as charity had been the hallmark of Bernard of Clairvaux’s.” Affable and charming, amiable to one and all, “he was at ease in the company of the humble and the great alike.” Finally, he was a most eloquent preacher; after long meditation “he would preach the word of God, and with his fiery eloquence purged vices, refined virtues and filled souls of good will with the warmth of wisdom.” He spent many hours in contemplation of the divine mysteries and fearlessly spread the spiritual insights which were the fruit of his meditation.

10th Sunday in Ordinary Time Sunday 5 June 2016

St Ignatius of Antioch's letter to the Romans

I do not try to please men, but God

From Ignatius, who is also called Theophorus, to the Church which has obtained mercy through the majesty of the Most High Father and of Jesus Christ, his only Son; to the Church which is beloved and enlightened by the will of him who wills all things that are, according to the love of Jesus Christ our God; to the Church which has precedence in the lands of the Romans; to the Church which is worthy of God, worthy of honor, worthy of the blessing, worthy of praise, worthy of success, worthy in its holiness, pre-eminent in love, named after Christ, named after the Father. I greet that Church in the name of Jesus Christ, the Son of the Father. To those who are united in flesh and spirit to every one of his commandments, filled with the grace of God without wavering and filtered clear from every foreign stain, abundant greeting in Jesus Christ, our God, in blamelessness.

  I have prayed to the Lord to see your godly faces and I have persevered in prayer until I have been granted this — for I hope to greet you, as a prisoner in Christ Jesus, if only I am found worthy to reach the end of my journey. Things have begun well and all now depends on my receiving the grace to reach my goal and receive my inheritance unhindered. But I fear your love for me and I fear the harm it can do me: it is so easy for you to do what you want and so hard for me to reach God if you do not spare me your help.

  You habitually do what pleases God: do what pleases him now and not what pleases men. I shall never have a better opportunity of reaching God, and you will never have the opportunity of performing a better act than now, by keeping silence. If you remain silent, I shall become the word of God; but if your love of my physical life makes you speak, I shall be nothing but a meaningless cry.

  Grant me nothing more than this: that I should be poured out to God, while an altar is still ready for me. Form yourselves into a chorus of love and sing praise to the Father in Christ Jesus for permitting this bishop of Syria to be summoned from the place of the sun’s rising to the sunset lands. Just as the sun sets only to rise again, how good it is to set to this world, to set and then to rise in God.

The Immaculate Heart of Mary Saturday 4 June 2016

A sermon of St Laurence Justinian

Mary kept all these things in her heart

As Mary pondered all she had learned from reading and from what she had heard and seen, how greatly did she increase in faith, advance in merit and become enlightened with wisdom! More and more she was consumed with burning love. Drawing life and inspiration from the heavenly mysteries which were being unlocked for her, she was filled with joy; she became alive with the Spirit, she was guided towards God and was kept humble in herself. The effects of divine grace are such indeed that they raise one from the depths to the heights, and transform one in an ever greater degree of glory. Entirely blessed was the mind of the Virgin which, through the direction of the Spirit dwelling in her, ever obeyed the command of the Word of God in all things. She was governed not by her own judgement or opinions, but she outwardly performed through her body whatever wisdom had indicated inwardly to her faith. It was surely fitting that divine Wisdom, which had built the house of the Church for its abode, should use most holy Mary as its instrument, where the observance of the law, purification of the heart, the doctrine of humility and spiritual offering were concerned.

  Imitate her, O faithful soul. Enter into the temple of your heart that you may be purified in spirit and cleansed of the pollution of your sins. In everything we do God considers our disposition rather than our actions. And so, whether we retire mentally to God in earnest contemplation and remain at rest or whether we are intent on being of service to those around us with good works and worthy undertakings, let our object be that we are motivated only by love of Christ. So the really acceptable offering of purification of the spirit is that which is rendered not in a man-made temple but in the temple of the heart, where Christ the Lord is pleased to enter.

The Most Sacred Heart of Jesus Friday 3 June 2016

St Bonaventure

With you is the source of life

You who have been redeemed, consider who it is who hangs on the cross for you, whose death gives life to the dead, whose passing is mourned by heaven and earth, while even the hard stones are split. Consider how great he is; consider what he is.

  In order that the Church might be formed from the side of Christ as he slept on the cross, in order that the word of scripture might be fulfilled – ‘They shall look on him whom they have pierced’ – God’s providence decreed that one of the soldiers should open his sacred side with a spear, so that blood with water might flow out to pay the price of our salvation. This blood, which flowed from its source in the secret recesses of his heart, gave the sacraments of the Church power to confer the life of grace, and for those who already live in Christ was a draught of living water welling up to eternal life.

  Arise, then, bride of Christ, be like the dove that nests in the rock-face at the mouth of a cavern, and there, like a sparrow which finds its home, do not cease to keep vigil; there, like a turtle-dove, hide the fledglings of your chaste love; place your lips there to draw water from the wells of your Saviour. For this is the spring flowing from the middle of paradise; it divides and becomes four rivers, then spreads through all devout hearts, and waters the whole world and makes it fruitful.

  O soul devoted to God, whoever you may be, run to this source of life and light with eager longing. And with the power of your inmost heart cry out to him: ‘O indescribable beauty of God most high! O pure radiance of everlasting light! O life that gives life to all life! O light that illuminates every light, and preserves in its undying splendour the myriad flames that have shone before the throne of your godhead from the dawn of time!

  ‘O water eternal and inaccessible, clear and sweet, flowing from the spring that is hidden from the eyes of all mortal men; the spring whose depths cannot be plumbed, whose height cannot be measured, whose shores cannot be charted, whose purity cannot be muddied.’

  From this source flows the river which makes glad the city of God, so that with glad shouts and songs of thanksgiving we sing to you our hymns of praise, and by experience prove that with you is the fountain of life; and in your light we shall see light.

Saints Marcellinus and Peter, Martyrs Thursday 2 June 2016

The Exhortation to Martyrdom, by Origen

Sharing in Christ's sufferings, they will also share in his consolation

If we have passed out of death into life by passing out of unbelief into faith, we should not be surprised if the world hates us. For no one who does not pass from death to life but remains in death can love those who have passed out of this dark house of death, as it could be called, to the building that is lit by the light of life, built up of living stones.

  Jesus laid down his life for us, and so we should lay down our lives, I do not say for him, but for ourselves, or rather, I suppose, for those who are going to be built up by our martyrdom.

  Christians, the time has come for us to boast. For we read: ‘That is not all we can boast about; we can boast about our sufferings. These sufferings bring patience, as we know, and patience brings perseverance, and perseverance brings hope, and this hope is not deceptive. So much has the love of God been poured into our hearts by the Holy Spirit.’

  If, as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in consolation too, then let us accept Christ’s sufferings gladly. Let us share in them abundantly, if we are looking for abundant consolation. And this is what those who mourn will receive, although perhaps not in equal measure. If the consolation were exactly equal for each person, then Paul would not have written: ‘As the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so also our consolation abounds.’

  Those who share in his sufferings will also share in consolation, in proportion to the sufferings that they share with Christ. You learn this from the apostle’s confident words: ‘You know that as you share in sufferings, you will also share in consolation.’

  God said through his prophet: ‘In a time of favor I have answered you, in a day of salvation I have helped you.’ What, then, could be a more favorable time than the day when we are led off under guard, paraded before the world, but triumphant rather than the objects of a triumph, and this because of our faithful service of God in Christ?

  For Christian martyrs in the company of Christ completely overcome the principalities and powers; together with him they triumph over them; sharing in his sufferings, they also share in the victories that he has won by his courage in suffering. What other day of salvation is there than the day that we depart from the world in this way?

  But, I beg you, put no obstacle in anyone’s way, so that no fault may be found with our ministry, but as servants of God commend yourselves through great endurance. You should make your own the words: ‘What do I wait for now, except the Lord?’

Saint Justin, Martyr Wednesday 1 June 2016

From the Acts of the martyrdom of
Saint Justin and his companion saints

I have accepted the true doctrines of the Christians

Saint Justin

 

The saints were seized and brought before the prefect of Rome, whose name was Rusticus. As they stood before the judgement seat, Rusticus the prefect said to Justin: “Above all, have faith in the gods and obey the emperors.” Justin said: “We cannot be accused or condemned for obeying the commands of our Saviour, Jesus Christ.”

  Rusticus said: “What system of teaching do you profess?” Justin said: “I have tried to learn about every system, but I have accepted the true doctrines of the Christians, though these are not approved by those who are held fast by error.”

  The prefect Rusticus said: “Are those doctrines approved by you, wretch that you are?” Justin said: “Yes, for I follow them with their correct teaching.”

  The prefect Rusticus said: “What sort of teaching is that?” Justin said: “Worship the God of the Christians. We hold him to be from the beginning the one creator and maker of the whole creation, of things seen and things unseen. We worship also the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God. He was foretold by the prophets as the future herald of salvation for the human race and the teacher of distinguished disciples. For myself, since I am a human being, I consider that what I say is insignificant in comparison with his infinite godhead. I acknowledge the existence of a prophetic power, for the one I have just spoken of as the Son of God was the subject of prophecy. I know that the prophets were inspired from above when they spoke of his coming among men.”

  Rusticus said: “You are a Christian, then?” Justin said: “Yes, I am a Christian.”

  The prefect said to Justin: “You are called a learned man and think that you know what is true teaching. Listen: if you were scourged and beheaded, are you convinced that you would go up to heaven?” Justin said: “I hope that I shall enter God’s house if I suffer that way. For I know that God’s favor is stored up until the end of the whole world for all who have lived good lives.”

  The prefect Rusticus said: “Do you have an idea that you will go up to heaven to receive some suitable rewards?” Justin said: “It is not an idea that I have; it is something I know well and hold to be most certain.”

  The prefect Rusticus said: “Now let us come to the point at issue, which is necessary and urgent. Gather round then and with one accord offer sacrifice to the gods.” Justin said: “No one who is right thinking stoops from true worship to false worship.”

  The prefect Rusticus said: “If you do not do as you are commanded you will be tortured without mercy.” Justin said: “We hope to suffer torment for the sake of our Lord Jesus Christ, and so be saved. For this will bring us salvation and confidence as we stand before the more terrible and universal judgement-seat of our Lord and Saviour.”

  In the same way the other martyrs also said: “Do what you will. We are Christians; we do not offer sacrifice to idols.”

  The prefect Rusticus pronounced sentence, saying: “Let those who have refused to sacrifice to the gods and to obey the command of the emperor be scourged and led away to suffer capital punishment according to the ruling of the laws.” Glorifying God, the holy martyrs went out to the accustomed place. They were beheaded, and so fulfilled their witness of martyrdom in confessing their faith in their Saviour.

The Visitation of the Blessed Virgin Mary Tuesday 31 May 2016

A sermon by St Bede the Venerable

Mary proclaims the greatness of the Lord working in her soul

My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior. With these words Mary first acknowledges the special gifts she has been given. Then she recalls God’s universal favors, bestowed unceasingly on the human race.

  When a man devotes all his thoughts to the praise and service of the Lord, he proclaims God’s greatness. His observance of God’s commands, moreover, shows that he has God’s power and greatness always at heart. His spirit rejoices in God his saviour and delights in the mere recollection of his creator who gives him hope for eternal salvation.

  These words are often for all God’s creations, but especially for the Mother of God. She alone was chosen, and she burned with spiritual love for the son she so joyously conceived. Above all other saints, she alone could truly rejoice in Jesus, her savior, for she knew that he who was the source of eternal salvation would be born in time in her body, in one person both her own son and her Lord.

  For the Almighty has done great things for me, and holy is his name.     Mary attributes nothing to her own merits. She refers all her greatness to the gift of the one whose essence is power and whose nature is greatness, for he fills with greatness and strength the small and the weak who believe in him.

  She did well to add: and holy is his name, to warn those who heard, and indeed all who would receive his words, that they must believe and call upon his name. For they too could share in everlasting holiness and true salvation according to the words of the prophet: and it will come to pass, that everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. This is the name she spoke of earlier: and my spirit rejoices in God my savior.

  Therefore it is an excellent and fruitful custom of holy Church that we should sing Mary’s hymn at the time of evening prayer. By meditating upon the incarnation, our devotion is kindled, and by remembering the example of God’s Mother, we are encouraged to lead a life of virtue. Such virtues are best achieved in the evening. We are weary after the day’s work and worn out by our distractions. The time for rest is near, and our minds are ready for contemplation.

Monday of week 9 in Ordinary Time 31 May 2016

A colloquy of St Dorotheus

The reason for all disturbance is that no-one blames himself

My brethren, let us consider how it can happen so often that someone hears something unpleasant and goes away untroubled, as if he had not heard it; and yet sometimes he is disturbed and troubled as soon as he hears such words. What is the cause of this inconsistency? Is there one reason for it or many? I recognise several, but one in particular is the source of all the others. As someone has put it: it all comes from the person’s state of mind at the time.

  If someone is engaged in prayer or contemplation, he can easily take a rebuke from his brother and be unmoved by it. Or again, his affection toward a brother may be a strong reason; love bears all things with the utmost patience. Yet another reason may be contempt: if a person despises the one who is trying to trouble him, and acts as if he is the vilest of all creatures and considers it beneath his dignity even to look at him, or to answer him, or to mention the affront and insults to anyone else, he will not be moved by his words.

  All in all, then, no-one is disturbed or troubled if he scorns and disregards what is said. But on the other hand, it is also possible for someone to be disturbed and troubled by his brother’s words, either because he is not in a good frame of mind, or because he hates his brother. There are a great number of other reasons as well.

  Yet the reason for all disturbance, if we look to its roots, is that no one finds fault with himself. This is the reason why we become angry and upset, why we sometimes have no peace in our soul. We should not be surprised, since holy men have taught us that there is no other path to peace but this.

  We see that this is true in so many other people; and yet we hope, in our laziness and desire for peace, we hope or even believe that we are on the right path even when we are irritated by everything and cannot bear to accept any blame ourselves.

  This is the way things are. However many virtues a man may have – they could be innumerable, they could be infinite – if he has left the path of self-accusation he will never have peace: he will be afflicted by others or he will be an affliction to them, and all his efforts will be wasted.

 

 

 

  If we say we have no sin in us, we are deceiving ourselves,* but if we acknowledge our sins, then God, who is faithful and just, will forgive our sins.

 

 He who conceals his faults will not prosper,* but if we acknowledge our sins, then God, who is faithful and just, will forgive our sins.

 

9th Sunday in Ordinary Time

The Confessions of St Augustine

Our hearts find no rest until they rest in you

Great are you, O Lord, and exceedingly worthy of praise; your power is immense, and your wisdom beyond reckoning. And so we men, who are a due part of your creation, long to praise you – we also carry our mortality about with us, carry the evidence of our sin and with it the proof that you thwart the proud. You arouse us so that praising you may bring us joy, because you have made us and drawn us to yourself, and our heart is unquiet until it rests in you.

  Grant me to know and understand, Lord, which comes first. To call upon you or to praise you? To know you or to call upon you? Must we know you before we can call upon you? Anyone who invokes what is still unknown may be making a mistake. Or should you be invoked first, so that we may then come to know you? But how can people call upon someone in whom they do not yet believe? And how can they believe without a preacher?

  But scripture tells us that those who seek the Lord will praise him, for as they seek they find him, and on finding him they will praise him. Let me seek you then, Lord, even while I am calling upon you, and call upon you even as I believe in you; for to us you have indeed been preached. My faith calls upon you, Lord, this faith which is your gift to me, which you have breathed into me through the humanity of your Son and the ministry of your preacher.

  How shall I call upon my God, my God and my Lord, when by the very act of calling upon him I would be calling him into myself? Is there any place within me into which my God might come? How should the God who made heaven and earth come into me? Is there any room in me for you, Lord, my God? Even heaven and earth, which you have made and in which you have made me – can even they contain you? Since nothing that exists would exist without you, does it follow that whatever exists does in some way contain you?

  But if this is so, how can I, who am one of these existing things, ask you to come into me, when I would not exist at all unless you were already in me? Not yet am I in hell, after all but even if I were, you would be there too; for if I descend into the underworld, you are there. No, my God, I would not exist, I would not be at all, if you were not in me. Or should I say, rather, that I should not exist if I were not in you, from whom are all things, through whom are all things, in whom are all things? Yes, Lord, that is the truth, that is indeed the truth. To what place can I invite you, then, since I am in you? Or where could you come from, in order to come into me? To what place outside heaven and earth could I travel, so that my God could come to me there, the God who said, I fill heaven and earth?

  Who will grant it to me to find peace in you? Who will grant me this grace, that you should come into my heart and inebriate it, enabling me to forget the evils that beset me and embrace you, my only good? What are you to me? Have mercy on me, so that I may tell. What indeed am I to you, that you should command me to love you, and grow angry with me if I do not, and threaten me with enormous woes? Is not the failure to love you woe enough in itself?

  Alas for me! Through your own merciful dealings with me, O Lord my God, tell me what you are to me. Say to my soul, I am your salvation. Say it so that I can hear it. My heart is listening, Lord; open the ears of my heart and say to my soul, I am your salvation. Let me run towards this voice and seize hold of you. Do not hide your face from me: let me die so that I may see it, for not to see it would be death to me indee